Howard Conder – I FORGIVE YOU!

An open letter to Howard Conder

Dear Howard

It was brought to my attention that you had been making threats and saying you couldn’t forgive those who reported you to the charity commission. This is something between you and God, but I would say that understanding brings an opportunity to forgive.

When I first saw your slanderous lies on Facebook which named me directly, I was angry too, but I forgave you instantly as I knew that you just needed someone to blame and that in your head what you wrote might have made sense to you as you had clearly forgotten who I am. I know this because you had confused me with another woman entirely and considerably rewrote the early days of the channel.

I also forgave you that you refused to even read my emails. I know being faced with the truth that you had smeared an innocent would have made you feel uncomfortable and I understand it’s normal for those who feel guilt to hide from those they have hurt.

What has really got to me about what you said the last few days is in your own words…

“I’m not of the mind to forgive. I know I should, but I’m not.”

“Because the reputation of my family name and your family name (Pettie) has been totally ruined.”

“If you talk to anyone who’s a friend – social friends. Tell them your name and go on the internet and they say… “Oh! You’ve got this… you’re a crook!”

“How can you forgive people for doing that to you?”

Howard that’s exactly what you did to all of us! You went on Facebook and wrote terrible lies about me and others. Lies which left unchallenged would have made us shunned by fellow Christians. The comments by readers on your Facebook page were awful and it made me feel subhuman to read what people thought of me after your false allegations. I may have lost a future ministry due to it and all sorts. You said things that had no basis in truth and to make it worse you posted a confidential report I had sent to the trustees, but had omitted the bits that proved beyond a doubt my point.

Howard, I forgive you for all of it. I truly do! The problem is that you refuse to admit you were wrong to post what you did on Facebook and tell lies on air etc. You still maintain that I did all those horrible things and you still bizarrely blame me for the investigation.

I repeat that I did not go to the Charity Commission and had no intention of doing so. I did go to them at the time I started blogging due to exasperation and the level of the lies involved as the trustees failed me. Had you apologised and put things right we would probably not be in this situation.

If I have indicated that I wish to be sued then it is for the sole purpose of being in a room with you and having a judge tell you how wrong you are. As you refuse to talk to me, this seems the only way of a dialogue. Trust me Howard, I don’t have the time for a pointless court battle, but I know for a fact that if I had published even one untruth we would have been in court long ago. You would have made sure of that!

I do love you Howard. It costs me nothing to say that. Yes, you’ve hurt me and my family immeasurably, but in the year I spent at RTV I got to know you and care for you more than you realise.

Proverbs 27 says – 5. Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. 6. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

You have had wounds from me, but they were the wounds from a friend trying to help you. Sadly you have surrounded yourself with the wrong people who do not challenge things and let you hurt yourself. Pettie is the architect of the the system that we (and probably the Charity Commission) take issue with. You cannot claim to take no money from RTV, but then take approx £1,000,000 a year from selling airtime via 21st Century TV Ltd. This is the issue. Your pie charts and fundraising tactics are deceptive.

I don’t wish to destroy you. I wish for you to repent and put things right with those you have wronged. You don’t see it, but I was being your friend when I sent that report to Peter Darg. Had things been dealt with at that point the investigation may not have taken place as my report was long before the investigation and warned of this exact scenario.

I wish you had listened.